Call it an attack of conscience, but I decided to add credits from now on. Maybe it will help a starving artist somewhere. I may go back and try to find the sources of the others, too. Hmm...
Anyway, on with the ending of my Deftones story. I'm sure you're looking forward to it one way or another. ;)
Storm Before The Calm Before The Storm
A lot happened after I put down the Deftones. I had a kid, became a single mom, endured an abusive relationship, and finally settled down unofficially with a sweet, caring man for almost a decade. I'm sure I'll go into those things at some point, but those are other stories.
That near decade was nice, though. There were moments when the delusion, pain and truths yet to confront poked through, but I ignored it blissfully. At the time, I was... satisfied. Mostly. There was an nagging itch just under the surface at all times, of course.
Until one day....
Illusion Of Peace
So much time had passed, I thought it was over. I was healed, I could move on and live again. Things I had previously abandoned or ignored slowly became interesting insights to this new me I had discovered.
Finally ready to confront the demons of my past from this "higher" perspective, I inserted the ancient Deftones disks into my laptop and ripped them to my library.
It was hard at first. I didn't make it past the first song on either album before an incalculable surge of emotion burst through the dark corners of my memories and into the moment. There was confusion, longing, anger, and an incredible urge to curl up into a ball to cry and scream at the same time.
Once unlocked, however, that emotional demon refused to go away.
With some help from an awesome friend with access to some private investigator tools, I found him. After 14 years of running away, I confronted him. I was convinced he hated me, but I couldn't ignore the urge to at least close that chapter once and for all.
Instead, I ended up leaving my partner of almost ten years to finally give this man from long ago one last chance.
Fools Rush In
My now-ex is actually pretty cool about it. We're still friends; actually all three of us are. But for Deftones, we'd still be together. We would feel like something was missing, though. We both see that now.
Even 'good' relationships can be wrong sometimes. But again, that's a story for another day.
What are your thoughts? There's a lot to be had there, and a lot left out for sake of readability. Have you experienced a major life change triggered (though not actually caused) by a song? Comment below or on Facebook your stories.
See ya next time, Internet Drifters!
(Tomorrow I'll be writing about games again! Yay!)
A garden of thought, for the entertainment of others.
A deeper look at mundane, sometimes entertaining activities.
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